Orsaken till ALLT elände i världen!

Jag har äntligen hittat orsaken till allt elände och alla hemskheter som sker runtom i världen. Och det är inte så lite som orsakas av denna hemska styggelse – Allt från krig, terrorism, sjukdomar, svällt, hemlöshet, missväxt, rekordskördar till personalproblem på bordeller, tidiga äktenskap, kamel död och tonårsfylla!

Och vad är det då för fantastisk, magisk urkraft som jag har upptäckt som orsakar allt detta elände? Global Warming så klart!

Jag är faktiskt rätt så stolt över denna insikt. Ni får gärna nominera mig till Nobels fredspris får denna enastående vetenskapliga upptäckt. Som är helt i Al Gore klass.

Nå, här kommer en ”liten” lista på några de saker som Global Warming sägs orsaka:

Agricultural land increase, Africa devastated, African aid threatened, Africa hit hardest, air pressure changes, Alaska reshaped, allergies increase, Alps melting, Amazon a desert, American dream end,  amphibians breeding earlier (or not),  ancient forests dramatically changed, animals head for the hills, Antarctic grass flourishes, anxiety,  algal blooms, archaeological sites threatened, Arctic bogs melt, Arctic in bloom, Arctic ice free, Arctic lakes disappear, asthma, Atlantic less salty, Atlantic more salty, atmospheric defiance,  atmospheric circulation modified, attack of the killer jellyfish, avalanches reduced, avalanches increased,  bananas destroyed, bananas grow, beetle infestation, bet for $10,000,  better beer, big melt faster, billion dollar research projects, billions face risk, billions of deaths, bird distributions change, bird visitors drop, birds return early, blackbirds stop singing, blizzards, blue mussels return, bluetongue, boredom, bridge collapse (Minneapolis), Britain Siberian, British gardens change, brothels struggle, bubonic plague, budget increases, Buddhist temple threatened,  building collapse, building season extension, bushfires, business opportunities, business risks,  butterflies move north, 

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camel deaths,  cancer deaths in England, cardiac arrest,  caterpillar biomass shift, cave paintings threatened, challenges and opportunities, childhood insomnia, Cholera, circumcision in decline, cirrus disappearance, civil unrest, cloud increase, cloud stripping,   cockroach migration, cod go south, cold climate creatures survive, cold spells (Australia), computer models, conferences, coral bleaching, coral reefs dying, coral reefs grow, coral reefs shrink ,  cold spells, cost of trillions, cougar attacks, cremation to end, crime increase, crocodile sex, crumbling roads, buildings and sewage systems, cyclones (Australia), damages equivalent to $200 billion,  Darfur, Dartford Warbler plague,  death rate increase (US), Dengue hemorrhagic fever, dermatitis, desert advance, desert life threatened, desert retreat,  destruction of the environment, diarrhoea, disappearance of coastal cities,  diseases move north, Dolomites collapse, drought, drowning people,  ducks and geese decline, dust bowl in the corn belt, early marriages, early spring, earlier pollen season,  Earth biodiversity crisis, Earth dying, Earth even hotter, Earth light dimming, Earth lopsided, Earth melting, Earth morbid fever, Earth on fast track, Earth past point of no return, Earth slowing down, Earth spinning out of control, Earth spins faster, Earth to explode, earth upside down,  Earth wobbling, earthquakes, El Niño intensification, erosion, emerging infections, encephalitis, equality threatened, Europe simultaneously baking and freezing,   evolution accelerating, expansion of university climate groups, extinctions (human, civilisation,  logic, Inuit, smallest butterfly, cod, ladybirds, bats, pandas, pikas, polar bears, pigmy possums, gorillas, koalas,  walrus, whales, frogs, toads, turtles, orang-utan,  elephants, tigers, plants, salmon, trout,  wild flowers, woodlice, penguins, a million species, half of all animal and plant species, mountain species,  not polar bears, barrier reef, leaches), experts muzzled, extreme changes to California, fading fall foliage, famine, farmers go under, fashion disaster, fever,figurehead sacked, fir cone bonanza, fish catches drop,  fish catches rise, fish stocks at risk, fish stocks decline, five million illnesses, flesh eating disease, flood patterns change, floods,  floods of beaches and cities, Florida economic decline, flowers in peril, food poisoning, food prices rise, food prices soar, food security threat (SA),  footpath erosion, forest decline, forest expansion, frostbite, frosts, fungi fruitful, fungi invasion, games change, Garden of Eden wilts, genetic diversity decline, gene pools slashed, giant squid migrate, gingerbread houses collapse, glacial earthquakes, glacial retreat,  glacial growth, glacier wrapped, global cooling, global dimming, glowing clouds, god melts, golf Masters wrecked, Gore omnipresence, grandstanding, grasslands wetter, Great Barrier Reef 95% dead, Great Lakes drop,  greening of the North,  Grey whales lose weight, Gulf Stream failure, habitat loss, Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome,   harvest increase, harvest shrinkage, hay fever epidemic, hazardous waste sites breached, health of children harmed, heart disease, heart attacks and strokes (Australia), heat waves,  hibernation ends too soon, hibernation ends too late, homeless 50 million, hornets, high court debates, human development faces unprecedented reversal, human fertility reduced, human health improvement, human health risk, human race oblivion, hurricanes, hurricane reduction, hydropower problems, hyperthermia deaths, ice sheet growth, ice sheet shrinkage, illness and death, inclement weather, infrastructure failure (Canada), Inuit displacement, Inuit poisoned, Inuit suing, industry threatened, infectious diseases,  inflation in China, insurance premium rises, invasion of cats,  invasion of herons, invasion of midges,  island disappears, islands sinking, itchier poison ivy, jellyfish explosion, Kew Gardens taxed, kitten boom, krill decline, lake and stream productivity decline, lake shrinking and growing, landslides, landslides of ice at 140 mph, lawsuits increase, lawsuit successful,  lawyers’ income increased (surprise surprise!), lightning related insurance claims, little response in the atmosphere, lush growth in rain forests, Lyme disease,  Malaria, malnutrition,  mammoth dung melt, Maple syrup shortage, marine diseases, marine food chain decimated, marine dead zone, Meaching (end of the world), megacryometeors, Melanoma, methane emissions from plants, methane burps, melting permafrost, Middle Kingdom convulses, migration, migration difficult (birds), microbes to decompose soil carbon more rapidly, monkeys on the move, Mont Blanc grows, monuments imperiled, more bad air days,   more research needed, mortality increased, mountain (Everest) shrinking,  mountains break up, mountains taller, mortality lower, mudslides,  National security implications, natural disasters  quadruple, new islands, next ice age, Nile delta damaged, noctilucent clouds, no effect in India, Northwest Passage opened, nuclear plants bloom,  oaks move north, ocean acidification, ocean waves speed up, opera house to be destroyed, outdoor hockey threatened,  oyster diseases, ozone loss, ozone repair slowed, ozone rise, Pacific dead zone, personal carbon rationing, pest outbreaks, pests increase, phenology shifts,  plankton blooms, plankton destabilised, plankton loss, plant viruses, plants march north,  polar bears aggressive, polar bears cannibalistic,  polar bears drowning, polar bears starve,  polar tours scrapped, porpoise astray, profits collapse, psychosocial disturbances, puffin decline,  railroad tracks deformed, rainfall increase, rainfall reduction, rape wave, refugees, reindeer larger, release of ancient frozen viruses, resorts disappear, rice threatened, rice yields crash,  riches, rift on Capitol Hill, rioting and nuclear war,  rivers dry up, river flow impacted, rivers raised, roads wear out, rockfalls, rocky peaks crack apart, roof of the world a desert, rooftop bars, Ross river disease,  ruins ruined, salinity reduction, salinity increase,  Salmonella, salmon stronger, satellites accelerate, school closures, sea level rise, sea level rise faster, seals mating more, sewer bills rise, severe thunderstorms, sex change, sharks booming, sharks moving north, sheep shrink, shop closures, shrimp sex problems, shrinking ponds, shrinking shrine, ski resorts threatened, slow death, smaller brains, smog, snowfall increase, snowfall heavy, snowfall reduction,  soaring food prices, societal collapse, songbirds change eating habits, sour grapes, space problem, spiders invade Scotland, squid population explosion, squirrels reproduce earlier, spectacular orchids, storms wetter, stormwater drains stressed, street crime to increase,  suicide, Tabasco tragedy, taxes, tectonic plate movement, teenage drinking, terrorism, threat to peace, ticks move northward (Sweden), tides rise, tourism increase, trade barriers, trade winds weakened, tree beetle attacks, tree foliage increase (UK), tree growth slowed, trees could return to Antarctic, trees in trouble, trees less colourful,  trees more colourful, trees lush, tropics expansion, tropopause raised, tsunamis, turtles crash, turtles lay earlier, UK Katrina, Vampire moths, Venice flooded, volcanic eruptions, walrus displaced, walrus pups orphaned, walrus stampede, war, wars over water, wars sparked, wars threaten billions, water bills double, water supply unreliability, water scarcity (20% of increase), water stress, weather out of its mind, weather patterns awry, weeds, Western aid cancelled out,  West Nile fever, whales move north, wheat yields crushed in Australia, white Christmas dream ends, wildfires, wind shift, wind reduced,  wine – harm to Australian industry, wine industry damage (California),  wine industry disaster (US),  wine – more English, wine -German boon, wine – no more French ,  winters in Britain colder, wolves eat more moose, wolves eat less, workers laid off, World bankruptcy, World in crisis, World in flames, Yellow fever.

Och ALLT detta för att temperaturen påstås öka med 0,006 grader C per år!

Inte illa!

Och hemska tanke, om allt det där ovan påstås hända vid en ökning med 0,006 grader vad hade då inte hänt om temperaturen ökade med ytterligare 0,001 grader?

Armageddon? Ragnarök?

Jag menar finns det överhuvudtaget något kvar som INTE har orsakats av Global Warming?

Jo det skulle i så fall vara ”skandalen” med fusket med datummärkning av köttfärsen i några ICA affärer. ÄN SÅ LÄNGE har jag inte sett någon påstå att detta fusk skulle bero på Global Warming. Men de kommer nog snart så ”vetenskaplig” och ”seriös” som Global Warming Hysterikerna är.

(Tack till Number Watch och professor John Brignell)

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Taggar: Global Warming Hysteri